Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind...

This movie would definitely mess up with your brain..from flashbacks to memories.. to laughter and heartbreaks, resistance…and self-destruction!

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Clementine: You know me, I'm impulsive.
Joel: That's what I love about you.

*

Apart from the fantasy of having some operation to erase your memories..to erase a certain episode, to erase some person who has invaded your life, soul and mind…and his/her smell is running in your blood now..and you just wanna throw that person out of your life..as if you never knew that one ever! Did you happen to ever wish that?

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Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.

Joel: I remember that speech really well.

Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?

Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.

Clementine: Hmm. Probably.

Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.

Clementine: I know.

*

To collect all the memories, the cards, the posters, even the street-walks, the phone calls, the tokens, the laughter, the words… all that's concrete and all the abstract…and just make them vanish as they never been...

(Joel holds two big bags of tokens and scribbles... while another patient just holds a small box, and another one a statue... because the presence of someone in your life is in the air and the abstract.. not just by getting rid of dozens of concrete stuff!)

*

Howard: We'll dispose of these mementos when we're done here, that way you won't be confused by their unexplainable presence in your home.

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Your life is at pause..and you need to move on..and your cells are resisting..and you scream out loud: "Enough is enough ..and screw you…with all your love and all your smiles..and all your bloody sweet, killing words… get out of my brain.. stop tickling my veins with my pulse, stop whispering your name in my ears!" But does all the silent screaming even work?

(When you see in the movie that their very first words after the break-up when starting the procedures of the erasing, they start confessing the very bad things in each others' personalities; they start the attack, to conceal their true sincere love for the other partner, as if it's safer that way to forget and get over someone.)

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Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.

Clementine: But you will! But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: [pauses] Okay.

*

Didn't you find you're so much in pain… at loss …and in a life-in-death state.. and those around you are moving on… they're eating, and drinking, they're laughing, they're talking… and you're lying there…not lifting a limb?! At some point, they'll forget to hug you, or they'll forget you are still shattered ..and they move on, while you're stuck in reverse.

(As symbolised in Joel's ongoing operation of deletion of memories, lying motionless in bed, whereas the others are laughing, making love, eating, beside him..and not in silence of the sacred moment of grief for losing a beloved memory)

*

Joel: Is there any risk of brain damage?
Howard: Well, technically speaking, the operation is brain damage

*

Didn't you wanna run and escape and hide in your memories… the happy ones.. to remain with the ones you loved.. and not to let them go.. because in reality they have disappeared? You just replay all memories to feel safe once more, to drink an illusionary dose of security? Didn't you wish to close your eyes.. and keep their image and sound there in your head …till forever? You're so much taking shelter in the past…in the memories! Nostalgia it is!

(When Joel beautifully confesses to his love.. weird, I cannot remember anything without you.. and even his childhood memories..he wished she was part of it... the presence of the one you love taints all your memories that you wish you had started life together from day one on earth)

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Joel: I can't remember anything without you.
Clementine: That's sweet, but try.

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Didn't you try to resist…and when you almost do it… someone innocently – but wickedly- says one word..or does a small gesture… that reminds you of what's gone..and you're submerged into a deep well of memories..of history, you thought you've forgotten?!

(When Patrick wickedly steals all the tokens of Joel and uses them to win the love of Kate Winselt.. and he uses the very same nicknames.. in fact this only got him far away from her..and got Kate even closer to her memories of her real love that are present, despite the deletion fact)

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Patrick: What's wrong?

Clementine: I don't know! I DON'T KNOW! I'm lost! I'm scared! I feel like I'm disappearing! MY SKIN'S COMING OFF! I'M GETTING OLD! Nothing makes any sense to me! NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE!

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Didn't you wish that the last moment you have with that one.. was not all about unfinished talk..and walking away..and turning your back..and not even enjoying the very last memory..to be rather later remembered with a smile.. not a tear and a sigh?!

(Like the magnificent scene of the beach house...before its total collapse, and all is in sand.. and she asks him to enjoy the very last moment before the good-bye.. do not just walk away.. before saying a decent good-bye.. as if it's the very last thing you owe to Love in its very essence)

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Joel: I really should go! I've gotta catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed too. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.

*

Didn't you really close your eyes.,.and wish that you'd meet again, in a fresh new start..pain-free.. and still smile ..both of you… and let the moment flies you to the next one.. with freshness..and dew of love kissing your hearts!?

(Both Jim Carry and Kate Winselt.. opened their eyes.. after the deletion operation of memories.. erasing one another from their lives.. but they woke up to meet again.. because it's Fate's working.. destiny.. that holds them both on track..whatever they do to forget one another)

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Joel: [Walking Out]
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you...
Clementine: (Whispers him) Meet me... in Montauk...

*

Jim Carry and Kate Winselt take you in such a journey of memories.. that you can't even resist flying along with them… you go on cursing the uncaring people around them.. You wanna pat Joel's head and tell him: "I know they don't care.. But I do… I've been there before..I feel you!" You won't even blame Kate's impulsive decision that she decided to erase him from her life…because you know how memories thrive on your soul.. Memories can be a beast soaking your breaths..like vampires! You're in Joel's brain..and in the labyrinth of memories….and you recall along with them every word..and every smile..and every fight… but you still wanna never let go! And you discover that this suffering journey of memories ..of the beautiful past… should end…! You should wake up in the morning and forget all about it… you should move on! You should wake up like a baby with a spotless mind.. the famous tabula rasa.. only to start scribbling on that very white new page..and cram it with new memories! Your new day..should start by forgiving yourself.. and forgiving the ones whom you love..and who did hurt you… Only then you'll be blessed by "The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"

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How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd

(Alexander Pope)

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But can you really forgive..and thus forget? Actually yes..! If not by such an operation ..you can do it for real! The question thus remains.. Do you actually want to forget?!i

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The picture above is Joel's drawing of Clementine that was a last thing he found in his house as a proof of Clementine's presence in his life, despite all deletion, destruction of memories, and despite all attempts of moving on