Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Letter....



Dearest Perry,


How're you? Weird question, eh? I just wanted to tell you that your friends are so sweet and are really missing you! They remembered you...They do! The girl had those teary eyes (Enas I think you know her .. you must have been in the same section you know :) ) Well...I miss you! Why just didn't you wait few days more... I know this is blasphemous..but see...I was there organising that graduation party...Imagine if I had seen you there with auntie and with uncle or may be your sister!! I would have been so proud of you....I am in fact so proud of you! I so wished you were there....! But, alhamdulelah after all!


They remember you, my dear...I remember you too! Not because I did not talk to auntie or to Nora or to Yahya to give them relief that I forgot you! No! Far from it.... I just can't talk...what should I say?! I am afraid to listen to that tone in her voice of sadness, I'm so afraid to note the grief....I am afraid that she'd remember and cry! I can't handle this! Didn't you know I just run away from this kind of grief! I'll just keep myself busy and won't ever think of meeting them, or hugging her, or telling Nora that it's gonna be fine!! I can't! I'll keep a distance and run away.. I want to believe that you are there with them..with us..and nothing is disrupted!


Today, when they asked for a minute of silence to commemorate you...for the first time, I felt that you actually died! Mona told me, Perry..Your Perry? Yes, My Perry!! It struck me only today that you died! Yes, I knew you died on 10th of April.... but only today I felt it!


Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that You're loved , my dear! Yes...that's what I saw in the eyes of that girl from your department! It's a blessing to know that you're loved! I thanked the girl personally on behalf of you!! :)


Well, till we meet... just hover around, and pacify the hearts of your family! I know that the dead know and feel and everything...Please, put the hearts at rest..visit their dreams!


p.s. I have never forgotten you...let me be a bad friend that's all..Just excuse me that I cannot hug a grief-stricken heart! It's out of my capacity!

another p.s. :) I'm so proud of you...I know you would have been stunning tonight, I know that your parents would have been proud as well..They are already proud of you... You were so missed today...yet, what makes me at ease is that you are in a better place now...


Take care, sweetest Perry.


Love you !



yours,


Hagar



p.s. Pray for me !

3 comments:

بثينــــــة said...

You are a rare,faithful friend
and,you made me smile while crying with your so alive p.s's..

karakib said...

يخرب بيت جمالك !!! يخرب بيت جمالك !

Epitaph1987 said...

Bosbosty,
in fact...I am all of sins and guilt! I left my mum all the rituals of wearing black, mourning and grief...and could not join them in "that kind of grief"! I'm escaping from her whole family (my relatives) because I cannot deal with it...that she's simply gone!
I wish she'd just know that I do remember her..and I will always do!
I wish....!

Karakib,
:)