وبعدين..

رجعنا لتكسيرة العضم. لعدم القدرة حرفيا على الصحيان وانك تزق نفسك وتقوم من مكانك. للإرهاق اللي مش عايز يسيبك، وربطك في مكانك. للعضم اللي متفتفت، لتقل الدماغ، والتتنيح..والتوهة. احساس اللي دايس عليه قطر رايح جي...الدماغ اللي فصلت عنها الكهربا ومش عايزة تستجيب لحاجة. اليوم اللي خلص من قبل ما يبتدي. ...طب ايه العمل بس؟!ا

New Fit..

All that unutterable heaviness..

none..

I spent most of the day consuming every minute in the kitchen. Cooked three different-new-recipes. I spent almost all day in the kitchen cooking and washing dishes, whipping cream, garnishing plates, and washing more dishes. And still all of this did not, absolutely not, help burying whatever that is hurting my soul. I surrender! 

I feel so tired...so worn out.

And I'm painted Black..*

The pain this time was much more bigger..The Big question mark that cannot find quick answers, the blurry future, and the infamous "What have I done?" question just kept repeating themselves, and their echo did hurt. Uncertainty hurts. Past reminds and aches. The wish to escape all is both tempting and causing a lot of pain as well. The burdens, the questions, the answers that will never be revealed are getting heavier. I couldn't pour it all in scarf to be knit, nor in hours of cooking, I rather surrendered to the dementors that scare the soul. It's cold, this route is so obligatory and cold, and I'm scared. All terminology of pain are memorised by heart, and that's more scary. I'm so much handcuffed..I'm so much scared. Coldness is devouring me. The mind is puzzled, and the soul cannot believe. We've lost faith long ago. The route that you walk as half-a-believer makes the pain doubled. Where can we retain the hope? How can we wipe the tears that are shed for the unknown? How can we ease the pain the precedes the journey..though it didn't end yet? How can we BELIEVE that this is not an inevitable path, this is not the prescribed route, this can actually change? How can I make it change?! Does it even change? Will it even change? Can we..?!

___
*Title: from the song, "Falling Slowly"

وَنَس..

الكوفيات بتدفي، بتدفي الروح أوي. وعشان كده دايما بنعمل الكوفيات ملونة جدا عشان دي أقرب حاجة بتطبطب علينا واحنا متكلفتين بيها. وهي الحاجة اللي يمكن بتزق شوية في عتمة الروح وتنادي ع الضيّ. ودي اللي بتخلينا نقاوم.. وهي حوالين رقبتنا كده، كأنها حضن في الأيام اللي ملهاش تلاتين لازمة والوحدة بتبقى فيها متبتة. دي الحاجة اللي وسط الخوف بنتعلق بيها وبنفتكر ان حد عملنا الكوفية دي وايده لسة فيها، صوابعه طبطبت ع  الخيط، ودلوقتي الخيط بيتصاحب علينا، فمنزعلش..ومنخفش، ولو شوية صغيرين. الكوفيات أصلا ونس.. عشان كده بنعمل كوفيات كتير ونديها للي بنحبهم، عشان ريحتنا احنا كمان تبقى فيها فيطمنوا. وبنشتري صوف ملون، ملون أوي عشان الألوان بتنفع في أيام البرد الباهتة. الألوان بتنفع، والكوفيات بتخاف علينا وبتتشعلق في رقبتنا ومبتسبناش لو الكون كله سابنا. صدقني، الكوفيات بتنفع.ه

Kitchenette

Mona and I started our small new blog to document our Kitchen's adventures, Horray! 

Recipes, tips, magical stories about food and cooking will be there.

And this is our means for Mona and I to connect despite the distance, and also to re-connect with our own selves and remember the fun of cooking.

Meet you there if you're craving something ;)

Kitchenette

Documenting..

Some memories just come by to keep pushing to the surface. I dunno why. I just feel these have to be let out.

A Year ago:

On the 24th of December, we left Orlando,Florida, after enjoying the Christmas spirit there, taking our final lift with the cab driver who we met on our first day of our short visit. Took the plane to Washington D.C., arriving in the evening, then going to the greyhound station, awaiting for a while for a very late bus to take us to NYC arriving at the very first hour of Christmas day. An Egyptian cab driver noticed we are Egyptians, and took us along to our hostel. NYC seemed very quiet and dark at that time, no good impression then. The hostel was catastrophic, that the receptionist almost told us not to stay there. Indeed, we couldn't stay there by any means, but it was Christmas times and no reservations possible, especially for a low budget. Had to call back Walid, the Egyptian cab driver to try to pick us up in search for a good place. My friend started her contacts, and found a room available in a more proper hotel, with somehow a reasonable price; we had no other option, we just went. Walid noticed how panicking we were, waited for me till I checked the hotel and the availability, all was fine,  and bid him farewell. My first night in NYC was not a good start, but better days would ensue.

P.S.The map has the red and green arrows to show the journey.