From My Diaries*
(1)
Since I vowed to enjoy the merry moment ..whatever it may come.. I could not help but feeling blessed and serene to everthing that has happened lately..very grateful and thankful to God, All Mighty…that strangely I stopped worrying of 'morrow. Not because all worries are gone (la sama7 Allah ya3ni).. but only because it's time to feel peaceful for once and for all..*alhamdulelah*!
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(2)
I think I did not feel how these great news are…but with them! They always say happiness is lived among true hearts that can celebrate it! Yesterday, their pinkish hearts..celebrated a moment I would have never felt unless with them! I loved the balloons, the roses, the gift… and most of all.. the laughing faces !It was just like the good old days..I only wished for Dina to be there..as well..to celebrate her in fact.. but those who were there… made my day indeed…it could have never been better than that!
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(3)
The idea of "tanseeq" and "thanwya 3amma" just make me shiver… though I went through that ages ago (ok just five years back .. I'm not that old).. but to see some little child turning into a young lady..and you're the one who's doing her application for admission into university…made me feel that cold – but nice – breeze!
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(4)
Finally.. I just hate it…when I get out of mood..and start the downfall to the nowhere..which is quite inexplicable..and not easily treated or recovered! It is usually ignited by something… then this barrier is established.. then I wake up to see it's all that simple and can be overcome.. but that psychological barrier..is there… entrapping me in a weird mood..of killing silence, blank mind…! It's…it's like a state of sunset…rather than a shining sun… a state of being so much indoors..in fact enclosed within…rather than being open to fresh air of the soul.. a state of being almost a fading flower…awaiting freshening dew of the morning..! And just for the record.. I hate this state..and I dunno how it is cured…!
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(5)
Am I all the time..that sensitive? Or it just soars at times keda...driving me- and whoever I'm closely dealing with - crazy..and throwing them in a state of bewilderment?... Am I really that incomprehensible..and hard to deal with ? Anyway..when you find me in that state... just note every word and gesture..and movement..'cause I cannot guarantee how I'd interpret them.. (usually to the negative side...so don't give up on me that soon)!.
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(6)
You know when the stretched bridges... are withdrawn.. temporarily..? and then you really feel like they should go back as they were..and you struggle to.. but it just needs time.. for the clarity of the soul.. and bridge things again..? (Damn , when I feel anything but slightly hurt) Either matters go back as they used to be..or stronger even..(it happens yes).. or else.. bridges find no extended hand to welcome..because it could have taken so long.. or it's a move that's not understood..why the gap then ...why the bridging thing? Am I making any sense here?!
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(7)
p.s. I don't wanna travel… since I read about that horrible road accident..and that feeling has been increasing even more! * a psycho I am* :D
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