Sunday, April 11, 2010

A Year...

Dear Perry,

I just realised that yes..a year has passed! It just feels like yesterday..when I knew you were gone..when we cried.. when your mum was having antidepressants..when that pain at the heart resided and never left me! A whole year.. I didn't talk to your mum since then! I evade her.. I'm sorry.. I simply cannot talk to her..she has lost you! I dunno from where do I get that conception that I'd be remiding her of you (as if she ever forgot you!) I mean.. we were together, same faculty, same many things, she consulted me when it came to you.. we were related! I lived and you died! How come I talk to her.. I cannot deal with her pain.. ! I just know about her through my mum! She has lost her sense of humour, she's fading away...! My heart goes for her.. and I miss seeing her.. I really do! I miss her giggles on the phone even! Just as I miss seeing you all together..when we had those dull trips meeting together..and having a small chit-chat! But we were together..and you were there!! Anyway..I won't be blasphemous now.. Because of you..I learnt how death is so close..I always remember that! Just as I know how living is a blessing..because it may end at any moment.. at any freaking moment! I didn't say to anyone that each time I'm in a car ride..I get scared (literally I do)! Your accident haunts me! Each time..when I have my little sister's hug, before leaving..I fear this might be the last time she sees me! Your death reminds me of this! I try to enjoy my day..and suppress my fear that accompanies me in every step throughout the day..! But Life is so short.. It all ends..all can come to an end at any moment! You were out there, with your friends, laughing and joking, you had the accident.. they all came out safe..and you..only you died!! Simple!

Your death has been quite a harsh lesson, my dear!
I wish I was a better friend to you... but I do sincerely wish your mum would be better! I cannot imagine how she can pursue life without your presence.. but dear Lord..make tante Dina feel better ... for the sake of her other two kids..they do need her safe and sound!! Dear Lord, pacify her heart...!

I know you're in a better place, Perry...! Pray that we'd join you one heavens!
May your soul rest in peace..and may you always be remembered! (I do ..every day!)


تــسنيـم said...

مقدرتش أكمل قراية.. عشان أنا كمان من يوم موتها و أنا مكلمتش مامتها و لا حاولت أزورهم, مرة واحدة بس .. ركنت العربية تحت بيتهم و قبل ما أنزل .. حسيت إني هدخل أنادي عليها بالإسم من غير قصد, فآثرت السلامة و مشيت.

مش عارفة ..بس أنا في الأول أنكرت و تعايشت مع الموقف بالشكل ده عشان أقدر أعيش,, و بعديها بشهرين انهارت و بدأت من جديد كأني لسه في أول يوم بعد موتها.

صديق بيقولي إن ده السيرفايف جيلت.. عشان أنا عايشة و صاحبتي ماتت, بس لأ

مش كده

هو حاجة تانية بس مش عارفالها مسمى

لما كنت أقصد بكومنتي عندك ع الإستيت هو إني مش عايزة سنين تانية تفوت عليا و أفضل أحسب في اللي بيمشوا و يسيبونا و بعد فترة بسبب كثرتهم و بقائنا على قيد الحياة أبدأ أستعين بورقة و قلم.

عايزة أمشي بقى .. يمكن أنانية مني

بس عايزة أمشي


عبقرينو said...

رحمها الله رحمة واسعة ورزقكى و اهلها الصبر والسلوان