حرفيًا..

وكل شئ بينسرق مني

العمر والأيام

والضي م النني

___

منير
والصورة لسوزان عليوان

A Vicious Circle..

After a trauma, your body is at its most vulnerable. Response time is critical. So you're suddenly surrounded by people—doctors, nurses, specialists, technicians—surgery is a team sport. Everyone pushing for the finish line. Putting you back together again. But surgery is a trauma in and of itself, and once it's over, the real healing begins. It's called recovery. Recovery is not a team sport. It's a solitary distance run. It's long. It's exhausting. And it's lonely as hell.

....

The length of your recovery is determined by the extent of your injuries. And it's not always successful. No matter how hard we work at it.. some wounds might never fully heal. You might have to adjust to a whole new way of living. Things may have changed too radically to ever go back to what they were. You might not even recognize yourself. It's like you haven't recovered anything at all. You're a whole new person with a whole new life.

_________

Grey's Anatomy, new episode (It's a Long Way Back!), S7 E19.

Picture by Suzanne Eliwan.

الله كبير...

ذاكر اديش قلتلي

ها العمر إنه قصير

وإنه أنا مافي متلي

وحبي أخير

؟

_____

الله كبير ، فيروز

Randomly..

How does the' zolam' work? Simple...it submerges you with blankness, dries up your tears..but you feel there existence within, makes you lie down...with that chest pain and hard to breathe..and low blood pressure..to feel the heaviness of your head! It chases the mind..but, doesn't kill it! It can never conquer my mind..still!

...

Broken Hearted

...

Is that my destiny, Lord? Should I stop here?

...

I signed all copies...Both rejecting and accepting...All I need now is to decide which to put forward!

...

Everything conquers me... despite all my trials! Everything defeats me!

...

أنا اسفة يا رب

...

Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones..and I will try to fix!

But when????

...

You have suffered enough..and warred with yourself..It's time you've won!

Is that even possible?

...

All I want..is to skip the survival phase. All what I've doing all my life was to survive! To survive this..to survive that! To stumble and survive! To fail and survive! To fall and survive! I do not wanna spend my life surviving..I just wanna start living...start breathing properly..start having stability for a change!

...
Please, Please..help me, God! Please!

And Another One...

Perry...

Second year and still unforgotten.. your name is always mentioned and the centre of the talk! (and till this moment I never dared to answer the phone when it's your mum calling!!)

aren't you around?

Be fine!

CRAP...!

I'm DONE...

I'm done wishing

done wanting

done defending

done EVERYTHING

AM DONE!

And believe me....you've made me done living even!!!

I can't see...

can't realise...

You've messed it all up...

You blurred the picture

You dim every light...

I'm DONE!

You left me nothing but ESCAPING...

I'M DONE!!

____

قرف ع الصبح...

تعبت

Why did I ever wake up today!!

That's how it feels...

@4:36 am

with a loud TV on.. and a sedative running into my brain cells..