This has been one of the most stressful times I've ever seen, and undergone! I just dunno know what exactly happened to lead me there...to that nowhere...! I dunno whom to blame...It's been C R A Z Y!
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I miss LIFE! I do...I feel quite isolated! I miss the sun, the sky, the stars!! I miss actual life.... pressure-free!!! I don't wanna think about future, quest, beings, career... I don't wanna stuff my little head with such complex big questions, I just wanna enjoy pure innocence... I wanna see a blooming rose, without bewaring of the thorns...is that so hard to grasp??!
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I am asking for too much??
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I don't like the word 'hate'...I don't like using it... but I do hate what she did! (I do hate her) !Till now, I shiver, and tears water my eyes, whenever I think I could be at her mercy! No, in fact...what makes it worse...is that I can see EVIL...how can evil be there, just exist like that? where is then that talk about purity, rainbow-land, and butterflies...if all dreams are killed , stepped over....!
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I don't disbelieve in God's Mercy... He won't let us down..and He'd reward us insha Allah...! (I assure myself)
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But I'm a little child, who wishes to see what tomorrow bears for her to set her heart at ease!! I want a crystal ball, I told you!!
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what is security? and to feel safe...? not to be betrayed or stabbed at the back? to lie peacefully in one's arms and close your eyes, and breathe, for you're safe now..away , far away ..from the evils around you...away from the fast ryhthms of life that you can't compete with...away just away..in those arms...!
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It'll soon be over, and what's done cannot be undone...! we're crossing over to the gate of light, waiting for the final decree..that will shape many things to come! Wonder if my heart still bears a score of strength to stand up to what's to come, or to bear the mere waiting...the damn waiting, that I'm often doomed with, if not always!
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soon it will be over...soon will it be...insha Allah!!
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