My Little Corner of the World..

(pic. entitled: My Little corner of the World)

*The Following are merely random hallucinations:

-Am resisting...an envitable breakdown!!

- I keep thinking, and thinking...and thinking...and more thinking...! That I end up staying awake all night!

- I'm not depressed! (alhamdulelah)

- But I know when I feel utter safety as well...!

-I have minor fits of worries and eclipses.. (normal I assume)!

- I wish for the SUN!

-I Miss Mona and Azza...a lot! (Like really A LOT)

-Talking is so elusive..I no longer let myself clearly out..I master all this fake talk currently! (except in one condition!)

- I have to go to the dentist...the pain is so unbearable! :( and on daily basis now...!

- I AM SO DAMN AFRAID OF THE DENTIST :(

-I yearn for that long deep breath....that one with an accompanied smile for the assurance!

-I'm tired of hiding it....so tired...! It so consummes me..and it's so hard..and gets harder and harder..and I still do it...! But I'm afraid I'm getting weaker and weaker...

- In fact I'm getting beautifully weaker and weaker...

-Enchanted, spelled, swept away....yep!

-I miss sleeping early and easily...!

-I wanna take actual and concrete steps soon isA..this will give me some security and will pacify me! (career wise...)

- Enthusiasm is highly needed...

- I wish for those moments of security and warmth to last till forever...! For constant recharge..

-I wanna reach over there..

- Why can't I stop wishing?! Why can't I just suffice with where I am now?!

-p.s. I just suffice with where I am now...with hope lurking within...!

-I miss speaking my mind out..openly...overtly..with all its fragment-like hallucinations, with all straightforwardness, with all concrete details, with no abstract generalities...! I Miss the REAL talking...!

-I'm grateful for having the Only Listener...(alhamdulelah)

-Yet, there is more to tell...The story is not fully told yet!

-PC's memory is just like my own memory..a one of a golden fish's!!! andaf mn el seeny now! and I have to let go, reset, re-install, etc etc etc! This has been my definite only constant thing to do always! Get distressed of losing, letting go...and then starting all over again!

-For one particular thing..I can't handle this process!! (God forbid)

- All is gonna be fine...insha Allah...All will be just fine insha Allah...! (repeating to myself)